What follows is a conversation starter. That's how needy and lonely I am. I'm going to subject you, dear reader, to a hypothetical question and I want you to give me an answer!
There are a bevy of ways you can respond (and please do respond) based on how much of your anonymity you want to preserve. You could simply leave a comment underneath this blog post either with your name attached or not, you could leave a comment under the link (if you came here via Facebook), or you could send me a private message (either Facebook message or email).
All right, let's get down to it.
You discover you have a superpower. You can't fly or shoot laser beams out of your eyes, no, but by having unprotected sex with someone you can cure them of any disease.
What do you do?
Matters to consider: Do you go public with your power? Do you keep it a secret? Do you even bother using your power to help others? If you do, how do you decide who gets cured? Do you charge people to be healed? Do you turn it into a job? Do you get a sponsorship? What happens if you begin to develop a cult-like following? Do you cure everyone who comes to you asking for your help (for a really creepy example that you may choose to ignore: the Make-a-Wish Foundation)?
Thanks to the Australian podcast TOFOP (specifically episode 47) for inspiring this question.
Hm, option one would be to continue as normal, not telling anyone. After all, you don't want tons of people trying to get you in bed.
ReplyDeleteOption two, become a high dollar call girl and develop a list of very happy, and now disease-free clients.
Personally, I'd probably take option one, saving option 2 for when I had A) no money B) too much guilt from being able to cure people but not doing it.
See, I can help but feel like this is a horrible chance to end up being captured and raped for the rest of your life...
ReplyDeleteBut I'll think of an actual answer later
In the meantime, here are two extremely creepy things I thought of-
What if someone in your blood-related family gets an incurable disease?
or
What if a child has a disease that will kill them before their 16th birthday?
..yeah.. ergh...
To my two anonymous friends:
ReplyDeleteI love you, worship you, and adore you. Thank you so much for commenting here. Had I prizes to give, I would shower them upon you.
yeah, this is definitely one of those situations where I would never, ever, ever reveal my power, because as soon as word gets out, you're fucked (literally). the government would want to study you. rich ailing horrible men would force themselves on you. people would revile you either for not sleeping with their dying relative or for having sex with so many people.
ReplyDeletealso are we talking penetrative sex or does oral sex count as well? can you cure mental illnesses?
Both penetrative and oral sex count as long as you come to a climax and it is unprotected (it's so weird making these calls).
DeleteCuring mental illness though . . . I don't think it would. That cuts too close to your sex being able to make someone 'normal'. It opens some doors I'd rather not go through.
I'd go on a secret crusade to get to know really awesome terminally ill people, create a fake identity, get into their pants and then suddenly disappear as they realize they've been cured!
ReplyDeleteI'd never go public with it, for the obvious reasons already stated. So I'd just operate as a superhero, with a secret identity and everything, and maybe have some sort of fund or charity associated with my superhero identity(since I assume people will take notice if some lady comes into their terminally ill life and cures them with her lady parts only to disappear afterwards.) so I can accept donations to fly around the world to help more people.
...Also, how would I have realized that I could cure people with my sexy times? And is it just vaginal or are all forms of my sex able to save the world?
I'd leave a dozen broken hearts, but with great power comes responsibility and with great sex comes the cure!
Can't keep that all to myself.
I dunno how! Could be you've noticed that your significant other's sniffles always disappear after you've bopped their bippy. Or you notice that your legion of faceless sexual partners always leave that bar bathroom without a nagging cough.
DeleteVaginal and oral sex will save the world (something I do wholeheartedly believe) as long as you go at it unprotected with the diseased and you orgasm. I suppose anal sex as well. You can't half-ass it and just masturbate over someone.
Also! Would you be able to transfer your abilities onto your kids? Could I birth a little army of disease-curing sluts?
DeleteI don't know how I would feel about telling my kids to go out into the world and fu-I mean cure.
I wants moar of these!
Nope! Your amazing cure-all vagina stays with you, the magic doesn't get passed down.
DeleteHmm, though the idea of it being a hereditary trait may warrant a follow-up hypothetical.